the lover

It is unsightly the days you visit.

Unwelcomed and perturbed, but invigorating it is. Your jealousy rearing its ugly head at my ephemeral bliss, your claws are never subtle. They are beautiful and ragged, jarring scratches on my heart. It is you dragging me by the roots of my hair, leaving my toes barely grazing the ground. It is your cloying voice beckoning me with sharp razors and everlasting fires. You make me ache for that burn and I hate you for it- love you for it, keep you at an arm’s length just to taste it whenever you feel I am worthy enough for reprieve. I know not why I deny you.